


Is Craig Tucker A Gay?

by The_Irish_Kiwi



Category: South Park
Genre: Can I tag the Asians as characters?, Craig is the Beloved Homosexual, Craig's friends don't give a shit he's gay, Craig's still a useless homosexual, Gen, I love my boys but they're making this not good, Kyle got mentioned, M/M, Token and Clyde are just trying, but he's useless, but really... Token and Clyde have some suspicions about Craig
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-02 12:50:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12726945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Irish_Kiwi/pseuds/The_Irish_Kiwi
Summary: All it takes is two incidents for Token to come to the conclusion that Craig is gay. Clyde takes three. Craig swears he's not, he just wants to ask that spaz out.





	1. Chapter 1

It takes two times for them to figure it out. Well two times for Token, three for Clyde, and Jimmy doesn't give a big enough of a damn.

The first time any of them really suspect something is during a game of World of Warcraft together. They’re skyping, and they’re all also half asleep. ‘Just a little longer,’ Clyde had begged, and half asleep, none of the other three had questioned the way Clyde had fucked up what he was saying. They’d all done it at least once that night, and it was 2 am. Who could blame him?

Craig flipped off his screen, Jimmy yelled his assaults, Token was just trying his best just to stay alive, and Clyde distracted by his playboy magazine, was the one to hear it.  
“Dude he’s so fucking cute,” The nasally voice of Craig muttered. Clyde perked up, looking at his screen, to his dead character, magazine forgotten. Closing the game, he pulled up his skype, seeing Craig going through his phone. His mind wandered to possibilities of who he was talking about. Jimmy seemed not to have noticed, but Clyde could see Token looking at his screen with a surprised look. Neither of the two that had noticed were judging though.

“That’s gay.” Clyde said, not really sure how else to respond to what Craig had said. The lack of sleep short wired all their brains, having all gone to bed at 12 am yesterday, and getting up at 7 am. Clyde watched as Craig looked up to the screen with a puzzled look, his dark brows furrowed, and bags underneath his eyes. Clyde imagined they all looked as disheveled.  
“Am I a gay?”  
Clyde shrugged. “How should I know?” It was a good question. As Jimmy finally died in game, joining the other three, Token yawned loudly, causing a wave of yawning boys. 

“I gotta go to bed. I need sleep, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” The black boy waited until after they’d all said goodnight, and Jimmy had logged off before logging off himself.  
“You know, you’re my best friend, and I love you and if-”  
“That’s gay.” Craig interrupted him, suddenly wide awake, logging off. 

“I think you might be.” Clyde muttered to himself, logging off Skype himself. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The second time they suspected something was at school. Or well the second time Token suspected something. Only three days after the first time he’d said something. Craig had a habit of wishing he could say things other people said, and sometimes, his mouth just got the better of him. At various times in the day- not that Token counted anymore- the blue eyed boy would repeat something that another had said, and how it would make him happy if he could say it. The first time for that day in particular, it had been a regular type of statement. 

Walking in the halls of the school, Craig and Token hadn’t really been saying anything, when loudly (When wasn’t that fatass loud?) they heard Cartman greet Mr Mackay. The two other boys glanced behind themselves, greeting their school counselor as well. 

“ASS-TITS!” Cartman exclaimed, giggling into his hands before running off. Mr Mackay called after him, before huffing and going on his way around the corner.  
“If I could say Ass-Tits to Mr Mackay, I would be sooo happy.” Token rolled his eyes.  
“Of course you would.”  
Lunch rolled through pretty quickly, and as they all moved to go back to class, Cartman came by the group of friends. “Hey Tweek!”  
“AGH!” The blonde jumped away, twitching, as he tried to move away from Cartman.  
“SUCK MY BALLS!” The brunette yelled in the poor kids ear causing another scream to escape the boy as Cartman moved off giggling. The sounds of Kyle telling him off could be heard from down the hall. 

“Dude, if I could tell Tweek to suck my balls, I would be soooo happy.”  
It wasn’t the statement that had Token stopping in his place. That had only caused him to give his shorter friend a look as he raised his eyebrows. It was the clenching of Craig’s fist that had him stopping. 

‘I think he might be gay… for Tweek?’ The black boy thought, before quickly moving to catch up with Craig. He made a mental thought to text Clyde later. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wednesday, the day after Token’s suspecting incident, Craig found himself standing in front of Tweak Bros. Again. He never really went often, didn’t drink coffee really, but Tweek was working as cashier after school. Tweek was his friend, and he figured the kid could see at least one friend while he’s not stuck taste testing. Who was he kidding? He went in every time Tweek worked the counter.

The little bell chimed as he walked into the coffee shop, gathering the attention of the twitchy blonde at the cash register. Even from the door, Craig could see that he was standing on a stool. It was cut- ‘no, don’t. Craig, that’s gay. Real gay is bad.’ At least, that was the impression he’d been given by his father for years. 

“Hey Craig,” Tweek greeted him with a smile. Walking up to the counter, and feeling little (God why did everything have to be so big, while all of them were so small), the boy wearing the blue chullo grabbed a chair from one of the tables, and pushed it to the counter. Standing on it, he flipped Tweek off. The blonde frowned, but Craig merely said “Hey Tweek.” 

‘My god, his eyes are so pretty and green but blue, what is thi-’ He made a noise in the back of his throat, as if clearing it.  
“How can I h-help you?” Tweek twitched, causing Craig to pull a squiggly smile. ‘I should just ask him out.. Six simple words Tucker. Six words, spit them-’ 

“One Caramel Macchiato please.” 

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT TUCKER, You FUCKED it up AGAIN! He was such a fucking idiot. He knew what words wanted to come out of his mouth, but every goddamn time! 

“Coming right up.” The sweet voice of Tweek entered his ears as Craig clenched his fists again. God damn it. If only Craig had the ability to see the dusting of pink on his friend’s cheeks, the disappointed sigh, and the down cast look as he moved to make his drink.  
“I’m not gay.” He whispered seriously to himself. Although it sounded an awful lot like he was trying to convince himself.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Yes, you are.” Came the chorus of Token and Clyde’s voices.  
“God damn it.” Craig threw himself back on Token’s bed.  
“You just told us the one thought you had when you looked at him, was asking him out.-” “And his eyes were cute!” “Yeah. That’s pretty gay, Craig.” Token said, eating his apple. “Besides, it’s in the group chat from you anyway.”  
An unintelligible response came from the bed, with Craig laying face down on Token’s bed. A flipped bird was also directed at his two friends. In the group chat now titled, ‘Craig our Beloved Homosexual’ Craig had been the second to last to send a message.  
‘I really shoukd ask him out  
“One caramel macchiato please”  
God fucking damn it Tucker, you fucked it up again’  
The message had been followed by,  
‘You are right next to us, why’re you messaging the group chat?’ Sent by Token of course. Which had been seen by Craig, Clyde and Jimmy. 

“I don’t know how else to break it to you Dude.” Clyde added on, shaking his head at his friend.  
“I do. Rumour confirmed. Has Craig Tucker is a gay. Our beloved useless homosexual.” Clyde fell over with laughter, as a pillow flew and hit Token in the face, knocking the dark skinned boy into a fit of giggles.  
“I can’t be gay! I don’t like boys!... okay maybe I like ONE boy.” 

“Face it dude,” Clyde grinned, giggling to himself, “You’re a gay, with a type for spazzy blondes.”  
Craig scoffed. “No I-” His eyes widened. Silence occurred around the room for a split moment.  
“He’s remembering his hard on for the Tourettes kid. I mean, you asked to do the kids laundry. Next thing we know you’ll be doing Tweek’s because you don't know how else to show him you love him.” Giggles followed Clyde’s whisper, before Token’s other pillow hit him in the face. 

“.... oh.” Craig threw himself back on the bed. “Maybe I’ve liked… two boys.” 

Later that night, when Craig had fallen asleep, on the right side of Token’s big bed, closest to the wall, Clyde crawled his way closer to Token, who was on the left of him. “Operation Creek?” “Operation Creek.” “I’ll tell the Asian Girls about it.” With the plan for tomorrow sorted, they rolled over into the covers of the bed and fell asleep far too quickly.


	2. Craig Tucker is a useless homosexual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig's a useless homosexual, and Token and Clyde are just trying their best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day, this will have a one shot based solely around Creek... until then, Token and Clyde want Creek to happen.

Craig Tucker was a useless homosexual. It was just the conclusion that Token and Clyde had come to. Even after their talk, the kid was still convinced he  _ wasn’t  _ gay, and that Thomas and Tweek were just his exceptions. Token really didn’t have the heart to tell him that he’d never liked any girls, and if he did, he’d never mentioned it.  The only girl that he really hung out with was Red, and she was his cousin, so that didn’t really count. As far as Token knew, the Tuckers weren’t white trash.  

It hadn’t been all that long since their sleep over, but Clyde still had not talked to the Asian girls about what he and Token had referred to as “Creek”. Creek, Craig and Tweek. It was getting on Token’s nerves, but if anything, Token was the calm parent friend. He wished for nothing but his friends’ happiness, so if he had to go behind their backs to make it click for them, you can sure as hell bet that he god damn would. 

In Gym class, Basketball was the name of the game. Craig might’ve been a useless homosexual, but Clyde was a useless heterosexual white boy, so Token was screwed regardless in trying to get word to the Asians about Tweek and Craig. Given the uselessness of everyone else, Token was gonna have to take matters into his own hands. 

He raised his hand, prompting Kyle to bounce the ball towards him, and glancing at Craig for a mere second, threw the ball at Tweek. “Tweek!” He called last second, earning a ‘ACK!’ as the twitchy blond turned at the wrong moment. The ball collided with his face, knocking him over. Tweek grabbed at his hair, rubbing the spot he’d been hit, bent over on his knees as if avoiding more thrown balls. 

“Craig, help him up, dude.” Stan called to the chullo wearing kid, and Token mentally patted the kid on the back. Craig however, the closest to Tweek, just.. Stared. At. His. Ass. Luckily, Token was the only one who seemed to notice. 

Token took a few quick steps forward. “I swear to god, you useless homosexual Craig.” The black boy muttered as he passed, helping the blond up. 

“Wait-” There was that nasally voice. “What was I meant to be doing?” 

“Helping Tweek up.” Token said, as Tweek snatched his hand away. “T-thanks Token.” 

Craig clenched his fist again as Tweek passed, the bell ringing as he did so. Token let the other boys walk away, waving Craig off as he looked back for him. Token waited a moment, before reaching a hand out and grabbing the top of Clyde trying to pass him. 

“I thought you were telling the Asian girls.” There was the disappointed Dad voice, yikes, he needed to work on that. Much like for most of the day, Clyde was practically oozing confidence.

“Needed something that wouldn’t get back to me. Telling them that our beloved homosexual is with Tweek, would eventually get back to Craig, so-” The brunette pulled out his phone, unlocked it, and opened up a folder in his camera roll before handing it to Token. Said boy was hesitant taking it, before swiping through. Clyde had managed to snap a picture of Craig staring at Tweek’s ass, Craig looking smitten as he looked behind Clyde, and Tweek blushing as Craig walked away from him. 

“Stalker alert. Alright, show it to the Asian girls.” He handed the phone back only to be greeted with a smug look. “Already ahead of you. One of them is drawing as we speak my good friend.”

Token for once, it filled with some doubt. “You know.. What if this goes badly?” The question has Clyde raising his eyebrows. “What? They’re already hanging out all the time, just look at them. Craig’s confused by smitten, Tweek’s confused but… I don’t know. This’ll push them in the right direction.” 

Token bites the inside of his cheek at Clyde’s words, before pushing him forward. “We have lunch to go to.”  

_ You better be right Donovan. _

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clyde was not right. Clyde was  **NOT RIGHT. THEY WERE ASSHOLES** . 

“What have we done?!” Token grabbed hold of Clyde by his jacket, almost throttling him. “They would’ve been fine if we hadn’t got the Asians and their Yaoi involved!” 

Craig and Tweek weren’t talking to each other, they’d broken up in front of everyone, and everyone thought Craig was a manipulative cheater. This was their fault! They gave the idea to the Asian girls and- smack!

Token started at Clyde, jaw dropped, until he reached up to rub at his own cheek. “Thanks. “ 

Clyde held his hands up in surrender for a moment, equally as unsure as him. “We gotta fix this.” 

“How?” Token almost exclaimed. “Yeah, we told the Asians you guys liked each other, and caused your friendship to be ruined with this Yaoi… going to go over great!” Breathing heavily, Token sat himself down, head in his hands. “Clyde we ruined their friendship.” 

Clyde sighed, looking around before sitting next to his friend. “Operation Creek… backup plan.” 

Token looked up, confused, before asking, “What’s the backup plan? There was no backup plan.” 

Clyde was silent for a moment, before turning to Token. “We get Tweek to crack first. Talk about Craig, and talk about Tweek to Craig.. Get them thinking about each other. And then.. Let them- I don’t know Token, this is new to me.” 

The pair sat in silence, before Token’s gaze was filled with the sight of Nichole. His heart fluttered, and he almost melted as she turned, waving at him despite Bebe telling her off for getting distracted during cheer practice. Token waved back, a smitten look coming to his face. “Clyde?” 

“Hmmm?” 

“I think I know how to fix this.” 


	3. Token and Clyde are useless heterosexuals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Token and Clyde try, but Craig isn't impressed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shit, but I kinda needed a filler as I had no idea how to bridge between well.. that and what I want to do now, I had no sort of energy to write it, but it needed to be done, I am sorry. This will go back to being funny soon, if I continue xD  
> damn Token and Clyde for taking over

"What do you mean Tweek went to Craig's house?" Clyde, as usual, was usually a bit of a slow poke when it came to lots of things. Token sighed, rolling his eyes.   
"Mr Tucker was talking about it with your dad, and then your dad mentioned it to my dad when he dropped you off. Don't you listen?" Apparently not, given the way that Clyde looked at Token.

"So... we're late?" Clyde asked, causing Token to sigh. "No, I imagine they're still not talking. We still need to get them locked in a room together. Like Cartman did with me and Nichole, except... minus the racism and homophobia. Because that's not cool."   
Clyde nodded his head in agreement.Token and Nichole didn't belong together because they were black, just because they liked each other and had a healthy relationship. "So that's why Tweek's in your room, and Craig is coming too?"

Token stared at Clyde. "You really are slow on the uptake." Clyde sighed, nodding his head forlornly. "Yeah, I've been told before."   
Token rolled his eyes. "Alright, I'm gonna go make snakes, you go talk to Tweek."

Clyde nodded his head, up the stairs, and to Token's room, where he came across Tweek laying out his sleeping bag. The boy twitched and shook, muttering to himself all the while.   
"Hey Tweek-" "AGH." "Nice to see you too."   
"Oh jesus, I'm sorry, you just.." Tweek twitched, sitting down on his behind.   
"Scared you? Happens. Least you didn't cry. One time Token and Craig scared me so hard that I cried. Good times." The brunet grinned widely, sitting himself down where his own sleeping bag was laid out.

"So are you.. gay gay, or like bi-curious, or European?" The question is out of his mouth before he can stop it, and he looks almost as mortified as Tweek when he realised it.   
"Ah Jesus!" "Oh shit.. I'm sorry, i didn't mean for that too.. erm.."   
"I'm not gay I just.. what does being gay have to do with anything when you like someone?" Tweek sighed, and Clyde's eyebrows raised. All this time, they'd been Tweek's friend too, and only now just realised maybe Tweek liked Craig in a ... more than friend way? Wow... if Craig was a useless homo, he and Token were useless Heteros.   
"Uh.. kinda everything, dude." It wasn't Clyde, but Token who said it, as he appeared at the doorway, a tray full of different snacks. Tweek flushed bright red, as Token stared at him, thinking.   
"Look, we know that breakup was fake... because you two weren't dating." Clyde decided to stay out of this one, leaning back against Token's bed, and letting Token take the lead. He might've been as useless a hetero as Clyde himself, but he was a lot smart. "Craig wasn't gonna ask a dude out and date him under our noses, much less his father's. Mr Tucker's a great guy, but he's a bit too conservative for that. Craig's not homophobic, and I know you know that, it's just... how he was raised. If he is gay," He is, Token thought, "It's gonna eat him up inside. If he was gay, he'd be the most useless gay guy."

Tweek twitched, before violently jumping as Token's door slammed open. " **What. The Fuck**... Fuck you guys, I'm going home!" 

"Craig wait!" Token called, moving quickly after his friend. 

"No! You invite _him_ here, talk about _me_ ,  talk about me like I'm not-"   
"Craig, be reasonable. Why're you being such a dick?" 

Craig narrowed his eyes, before flipping Token off, and walking out the door. 

"Ah shit... if Craig's a useless homosexual... Clyde and I are useless Heterosexuals."

* * *

 

"Alright genius, that plan failed." The next day, Token and Clyde sat on Token's bed, re-evaluating their lives and decisions. Tweek had gone home earlier, after being upset for most of the night. 

"We messed up." Token admitted, lying down on his bed with a sigh. "I just wanted to help." 

"Me too man... what do we do now?" Clyde asked standing up. "Well, I mean, what are you gonna do? Because I'm gonna go patch things up with my Best Friend, and just... I don't know. I don't know what else we can do, Token." Unshed tears swam in his eyes. He'd just wanted to help. 

"I'll see you later buddy."   
"Yeah." 

* * *

 

Whilst out in town, after a few days of Craig not really talking to him all that much after he apologised, out with his mom, Token was sort of not really surprised to see Craig and Tweek walking hand in hand. 


	4. Token the Mom, Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig Tucker will always be a useless homo, but Token Black will always be the mother of the group. 
> 
> "Don't encourage them Jimmy."

They don't know the ins and outs of Craig and Tweek's relationship, but it doesn't take long for them to realise. Despite how much Clyde and Token (Fuck even Jimmy, dude) can tell that these dudes are gay as fuck, the two boys themselves never seem to realise it. They don't hold hands alone with the guys, they don't use pet names, they don't... do anything. Token was fully expecting hand holding at the least at the next sleep over, but it never came. They just kinda sat next to each other. Like they were confused on what they were supposed to do. 

"Useless homos," he muttered to himself in the kitchen, as he prepared the snacks. It was the role and job of the hose (AND ONLY THE HOST) to prepare or pay for any take out. Craig had started the rule, and they all abided by it. Even with his parents on welfare, the boy was too damn stubborn to accept them chipping in to pay for take out. After the first time, they didn't bother. Sides, Craig's parents had jobs, just shitty ones. Token couldn't blame them for anything in the financial area. South Park was shit, but he liked it. 

"What was that Token?" His mother asked, setting a plate near him to put the snacks on. Token loved helping his mom do this, because he was the host, it was his job. Besides, it wasn't his mother's guests here, it was his. 

"Nothing Mom." Mrs Linda Black didn't seem convinced, but took her son's word for it as he quickly escaped up to take the snacks to his friends. 

As he neared his room, Craig's voice yelled out "SHUT UP CLYDE!" causing the dark skinned boy to sigh and almost facepalm, had it not been for the plate of food that he was holding. 

"Yeah, shut up Clyde." Token stated, pushing open his door, and setting the plate of savoury pies and sausage rolls onto the floor in the middle of what had once been a circle of boys that he'd left, but was now just a broken semi circle, with Craig having pulled Tweek closer to him. 

It took Token, Clyde, and Jimmy, a couple days for them to figure out Tweek and Craig were faking it for the town, but they were also the first to notice, when Craig started giving Tweek lovey looks, and reaching for his hand even at sleepovers, or would cuddle him at sleep overs. The three boys had almost cheered as Craig almost kissed Tweek three years later at another sleep over, but Tweek's shriek of surprise had stopped the other boy. Token made a note to tell Craig later not to try that during horror movies. 

Token wouldn't look back on what his and Clyde's meddling had done until homecoming, watching Craig and Tweek dance, and then kiss. Even by then, he wouldn't be sure of many things in his life, but one thing he'd always be sure of. Well two things, one, Nichole was the best girlfriend he'd ever had when they got together again after high school, and two... Craig Tucker would always be a useless homosexual, especially when it came to Tweek Tweak. 

Didn't matter how much Craig denied it for a few years after he and Tweek started dating. It was something even Clyde Donovan knew from 4th grade, even if Craig Tucker hadn't. 

Craig Tucker was a gay. And Token would always be proud of him for admitting that to them the first time, even if they all knew. 

Token Black would forever be the Mom (and Dad) of the group, just as much as Craig Tucker loved Tweek Tweak. 

Craig Tucker was a gay, but for now, Token didn't put thought to that, as Clyde tackled his best friend, the two wrestling. Tweek shook his head, Jimmy cracked a joke, and Token? Well Token face palmed. "Don't encourage them, Jimmy!" Always the mom. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not gonna lie, I don't know what I'm doing anymore. But Token wants his airtime, so I'm gonna let him do his thing. 
> 
> Clyde started this, and Token will end it. 
> 
> Also, should out to @wondertweeker for the idea that prompted this all on twitter, should follow them, they do some cute art.


End file.
